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Todd Lehman / Boo-Boo / | |
| Mr. Boo-Boo Kitty Greetings, humon! I am Mr. Boo-Boo Kitty. My humon friends are allowed to call me “Boo-Boo” for short. If you say my full name, you have to bow twice and remove your shoes.
I am also sometimes known as: Mr. K, Walnut, Boo-Boo Baby, Boo-Boo Bubby, Chubby Bubby, Scubby Bubby, Boo-Boo Bub-Bubs, Bubby-Boo, Bubbly-Boo, Bubbledy-Boo, Bubby Boo-kins, Hungry-Boo, Thirsty-Boo, Sleepy-Boo, Sweetie-Boo, Frowny-Boo, Squirmy-Boo, Slinky-Boo, Stalker-Boo, Pupil-Boo, Happy-Boo. My Tummy Check out the cool shaving stripe on my tummy. I went in for an ultrasound over the summer so they could check on my heart. Luckily my subspace transmitter didn’t interfere with the equipment.
I made a deal with my humon friends that I would get to eat Fancy Feast twice a day with my Diltiazem and Atenelol heart pills. Games I am pretty good at “hide and seek”:
and very good at pretending to look cute for food while, in actuality, simply applying an old feline mind trick:
Levitation I have recently begun practicing the ancient feline technique of levitation. Not myself, mind you-that’s something far beyond my grasp at the moment-but I have learned to levitate small pieces of food. With a properly positioned paw and the right frame of mind, it’s really not as difficult as it looks. This is me after my first two weeks of intense study:
More difficult, of course, is to control the path of the object using only one’s mind-no paws. I am quite pleased with the progress I have made since then. This is me willing the food to rise:
But when those pictures were taken, I hadn’t quite yet mastered the ability to will the food all the way into my mouth; lateral control of objects is much more difficult than vertical control. While I was still learning, I had to “cheat” and I use my paws to grab the food as it floated up. But I quickly discovered that if I lunged forward too quickly, I lost my concentration-and the food!
Practice makes perfect. After another few days, I was able to hold a piece of food directly in front of me for as long as I wanted. Here I am in a feline zen levitation trance, concentrating my powers. I held that position for seven hours. Then I took a nap for three days.
The next challenge was mastering paw-eye-mind coordination. It seemed that no matter how slowly I reached out to grab the food, it still wobbled out of control.
Finally after several more days of practice, I mastered the paw-eye-mind coordination as well as the power to direct the food straight into my mouth without lifting a finger:
My next challenge is to levitate myself. This is a steep challenge, for it is written that only the strongest minds can do this. I am strong, I am determined, and I will learn to fly. I am first focusing on levitating my upper body. Notice how gracefully my arms float:
Writing Home Sometimes I write messages on the refrigerator. This is how I communicate with the mothership.
And then I wait for the mothership to respond.
The Long Wait The mothership is really far away, so it takes a long time to communicate. I pass the time by sleeping...
(Sometimes I sleep with my eyes open, in case someone is getting food.) My favorite “casual” photo I took this picture myself, when no one was looking... (shhh!)
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