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 General / Richie Dulin / traumaticevents

This was a post I wrote 20/11/3, slightly corrected for spelling and grammar. See the original post here along with the response.


Traumatic Events in the Life of a Lego Fan

The “it’s grey, folks, but not as we know it” change has certainly provoked comments ranging from thoughtful through irate, and ultimately to the ludicrous and downright bizarre.

Lego’s apparent disregard for its fans is nothing new, and many complaints have been made on LUGNET over the years. The following, apparently copies of correspondence with Lego, by one LegofanX, recently came to my notice, and I submit it as evidence of Lego’s ongoing disregard for its core fans.

Or not ;-)

1949
Dear Lego
Bricks! You’ve gone and totally changed your product focus, and rendered my collection of wooden and plastic non-brick toys obsolete. The LEGO Company has alienated its most vocal evangelists...I have friends who are very angry about it and, I feel their pain. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1955
Dear Lego
Trees? One piece trees? I’ve been making perfectly satisfactory trees for years from basic bricks, and now you go and render my collection of tree building bricks obsolete. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1958
Dear Lego
Now you’ve done it! Your consumer research into these new brick designs, with the stud and tube, might have found that consumers prefer these sort of bricks, but you didn’t ask me, or any of the vast number of Lego fans who are perfectly happy with the existing bricks. Last time, it was just my tree building bricks, but now it is my entire collection of perfectly functioning Lego bricks that you’ve rendered obsolete. I’ve come out in a cold sweat worrying about this. Woe is me. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1961
Dear Lego
Are traditional Lego fans no longer enough for you? What’s wrong with the houses we’ve been building for years? You’ve now rendered our windows, doors, and even trees redundant by introducing the wheel. The wheel defeats the purpose of Lego itself. Mark my words, this is a really bad move. the company won’t last ‘till 1965, let alone the end of the decade!! I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1962
Dear Lego
The plate! You go and introduce the plate! Are kids today so unskilled that they can’t build with bricks? You make it too easy for them. The introduction of the 1/3 brick (“plate”) marks an historic decline in the worth of the Lego system. I am shaking with rage. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1963
Dear Lego
I am distraught! Nothing I have bought from your company in the past now has any worth at all. CA was good enough for thousands of fans, but you go and replace it with ABS. Why? Was it on the basis of some market research that “decided” that CA wasn’t good enough, and that a handful of consumers (who are probably only kids, or their parents) would prefer the so-called “superior” properties of ABS. I haven’t slept for days, worrying about this. I regularly open my window and shout obscenities in the general direction of Denmark. You should immediately revert to CA on all sets. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1969
Dear Lego
This is too much. It took me years to get over the ABS vs CA thing, but now you’ve made me take the LEGO bricks from my sister’s 3 year old. I gave them to him last birthday, but now I find that they’re obsolete for that age group because you’ve thoughtlessly introduced this Duplo stuff. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1970
Dear Lego
Why small wheels? What’s wrong with the ones we’ve been using happily for years, but which you’ve now rendered obsolete? It’s just getting too stupid. My health is suffering again, and my doctor has been forced to prescribe a mild sedative. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1973
Dear Lego
Right. I’ve almost had enough of this. Over the last several years, I’ve built several ships out of bricks (including those I had to take from my sister’s then 3 year old when you introduced Duplo). I have been entirely satisfied with those ships. But now, I find that Lego, probably because of some ill-qualified marketing buffoon, is introducing ship’s hull pieces. All my hull bricks are now obsolete. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1974
Dear Lego
Arrrggghhhh! I never thought you’d change the scale, but you introduced the Lego family. All my doors, windows, trees and most of my wheels are obsolete in one fell swoop. A serious company doesn’t treat its consumers this way. Shame on you. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1975
Dear Lego
Just when I’d got back from taking all my doors, windows, trees and most of my wheels to the rubbish dump, I find that you’ve changed the scale again - this time with the introduction of a new, small fig. These figs are terrible - they can’t move their arms (like the Lego family can) , and they don’t even have faces! This destroys backward compatibility. I’ve developed a nervous tic. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1977
Dear Lego
Technic! Technic? What was wrong with my old gear-wheel sets. You’ve rendered all my old cogs, axles and 4x2 bricks with seven holes completely useless. I’m tearing my hair out! What next? I feel betrayed... and now i see my 300,000 brick collection jeopardized by this unexpected insanity.I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1978
Dear Lego
When will you get the message? Yet more new figures! What was wrong with the old ones. Who needs moveable arms or smiley faces - the old ones were completely adequate. Most of the people don’t even fit into their cars. This is a terrible move for Lego, and one which will mark its decline as a successful toy company. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1979
Dear Lego
Not only have you rendered my prized Moon Landing set obsolete, but you’ve introduced specialised parts too. I’m disgusted with this new space line - it’s just a fad, it won’t last until 1980, let alone the space age in 2000. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1980
Dear Lego
Grey Track? Lego train track is blue. Or at least was, until you rendered it obsolete with this stupid marketing led move. What next, a change to some bizarre voltage system (9V?). I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1984
Dear Lego
You’ve really done badly with this. Why a grey castle? Lego castles have been yellow for years - why do you need to go and use a colour which has only been widely available for a couple of years. You’ve rendered my 375 Castle totally obsolete - I may as well just toss it out now. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1991
Dear Lego
Look, my letter of 1980 was a complaint, not a request! Why new train track? Why 9V? (Why? Why? Why?) Everyone knows that battery trains are 4.5V, and that transformer-controller trains are 12V. Why change to some bizarre system? All my train stuff (except that which I threw away following its obsolesence in 1980) is now obsolete. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1992
Dear Lego
You must think kids today are a singularly untalented lot. I’ve been happily seperating bricks with my fingers (and sometimes my teeth), for years, but some marketing whiz-kid at Lego reckons he’s come up with something better! Really, a “brick seperator”. Who needs it? You must really look down on your consumers. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1996
Dear Lego
Well there goes my much loved Texas Rangers set (although the Texas Rangers themselves went in 1978, and their brick built horses in 1984). Western indeed! What next, replacement non-red native americans for my 215 Red Indians (which I seem to have neglected throwing away when it became mostly obsolete). The man at the rubbish tip is now on first name terms with me, and smiles as he sees me approach. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1998
Dear Lego
Why do we need a Robotics Invention System with a hyped up marketing name like “Mindstorms”? What’s wrong with my Technic Control Centre? Well I guess it’s obsolete now. Off to the tip I go again. The man at the tip recognises me at a distance (because of my general shakiness, bald head, strange skin condition, nervous tic, and broken teeth) I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.

1999
Dear Lego
You commercial sellouts! Now I find all my Space Lego is obsolete, and I have to replace it all with marketing driven Star Wars stuff. I’m literally crying here, guys - have you no respect for us long-suffering fans. I despair at what will happen next - will you replace my beloved castle line with second rate sets based on a book about the adventures of some kid wizard! I don’t know what to do, but I’ll certainly be buying less of your product in future.


2003
to be continued
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